Barriers - Acceptance

There are many barriers or hurdles faced by trans-people that can hamper or prevent a successful transition. I thought I would write about a few the issues I face since it might shed some lights on the worries that are always in the back of my mind. It might also help explain the elation and sorrow that I write about in some of my frolics or other posts.


I imagine that most, if not all, people want acceptance, which is the first barrier I shall be writing about. It may be acceptance of their work, acceptance of their friendship or acceptance by others of themselves as the unique individual that they are. It may be acceptance of their role in society as a hard worker, as a decent child or as a good parent. So the concept and struggle with acceptance isn't different to what I face. In fact, the struggle is similar to anyone who faces discrimination or prejudice on a daily basis. 


Most people are able to go about their lives in a comforting inconspicuousness, safe in the knowledge that the people they pass or the people they interact with will see them as just another person going about their daily life. Imagine if that were not the case. Going on a simple shopping trip, the heads of all the pedestrians turn and focus their attention on you the moment you step out of your car. Looks of scorn and disgust are plain on some peoples faces as they stare at you while others show bemusement or intrigue. Each step you take is an effort as you feel the glares drilling into your self confidence and you fight the desire to run back home where you can hide from everyone else. You hear the muted discussions and overhear the occasional sentence confirming their thoughts about you or maybe an insensitive bigot yells out his thoughts leaving nothing uncertain. Imagine hovering at the entrance to stores for a split second, unsure of whether the sales assistant will show a disapproving frown or ask you to come back at a time when the other customers aren't there or maybe they'll greet all the other customers and totally ignore you. So image the total bliss you feel should someone greet you with a smile and address you correctly.


Welcome to my world.


Or at least it was for a while. Once I was able to make myself look like any other female I could once again immerse myself in comforting inconspicuousness. In the ts world, this is known as passing whilst should other people be able to tell from your appearance that you are transsexual, that is known as being read or being clocked. But in the end, all I want is to be accepted as another person going about my daily life.