"What about this one?", I asked.
Christine shrugged slightly, replying, "ok". Her tone of voice implied that she would go anywhere I took her, or had she already told me that earlier in the day? Whichever the case, my question was semi-rhetorical and I was already halfway inside the store. This must have been a sort of trial by fire for her considering it was only her second time out in public and the first had been in the hospital visiting me. I had promised that I would take her shopping so that she could finally try something on before buying it and I remember the first time a girlfriend had taken me shopping and how wonderful (and scary) that was. I had a lot of wonderful help in my transition and it was only fair that I pass on the fortune.
Once inside the store, I headed straight for the sale racks, ever the girl seeking a bargain. I noticed Christine ambling up and down the aisles, not really seeming to take a fancy to any of the clothes. More sales racks were situated near the back of the shop and I began shuffling through them. But once again, everything in this store seemed to be made for more slender girls much to my chagrin. I walked away from the rack and saw that Christine was trying to catch my attention. She had found a top and was asking my advice. It was a nice casual top and suited her quite well, so I told her as much.
"Go try it on", I suggested, nearly commanded, with a smile. She half protested with a reason that I can't remember but that I brushed away by saying that everything would be fine and insisted again that she go try it on. Picking up the item from the rack, she shuffled nervously into the change room.
I ambled outside the change room waiting and casting an eye over the shop to see if there was anything I may have missed. One of the sales assistants was telling the others that she was about to attend a pole dancing class and one of the other assistants began regaling her experiences and stories. I debated whether to go up and ask where they took their classes since it is something I plan to do one day but I decided it might be a bit too early to be asking that. After a while, one of the assistants walked by Christine's change room and knocked on the door asking if everything was ok in there.
"Yes", replied a high pitched, very nervous voice. The assistant and I smiled at each other as she walked back to attend to things at the counter.
I smiled and I imagined how Christine felt and I remembered a similar incident during my first shopping trip with my girlfriend.
"Stay here while I go and get a larger size for you", my friend had said. She exited the change room and I began to undress, finally hopping around nervously in my underwear waiting for her to return.
"Are you ok for sizes in there?", asked a sales assistant as she knocked on my door. I felt the panic rise in my chest since I was still working on my voice and it definitely didn't sound feminine. Yet, remaining silent wouldn't be a good idea either! I took a deep breath and tried to make my voice sound as feminine as possible.
"I'm fine", I replied, cringing at the sound of a mangled male voice.
"Ooh", I heard the assistant exclaim quietly in surprise before walking away. My confidence was really bottoming out and I hopped around more frantically waiting for my friend to return.
Finally, the lock on the door shuffled and the door opened. Christine stepped out sporting the new top.
"That looks great on you!", I exclaimed approvingly. I admired the top on her as she modelled it hesitantly and I threw a few more compliments to her. We discussed what it could be worn with and with a smile and sense of satisfaction, she decided she would buy it and she almost skipped happily back into the change rooms. I decided I would try on one of those dresses on the sale rack but, inside the change room, it was confirmed that I was definitely not one of the slender girls that these dresses were designed for.
I hung the piece of dolls clothing back on the rack and saw Christine paying for her new top. Handing the bag to her, the sales assistant smiled and wished us both a nice day. My cane tapped rhythmically on the footpath again and I asked Christine how she felt.
"I really enjoyed that. I'd like to go shopping more often", she replied cheerfully. More of her was out of the closet and now the demon, known as the love of shopping, had also been released. I was proud of her, what she had accomplished and how she had handled herself. There was nothing to do but to celebrate by eating some cake.
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