Sometimes I just need to get away from it all and be alone with my thoughts, as dangerous and as depressing as that may be. Today would be one of those days. Since I was not well connected enough to warrant an invitation to the Bird Cage at "the race that stops a nation", I decided I would commune with birds of the feathered variety in a more remote location. Doing so on this particular day had also become somewhat of a custom for my ex and myself in years past and even when the rain washes away the sand, some things will always remain.
Standing in line in a McDonald's restaurant in a country town, I watched the crowd of people milling around. Local teenage girls were queued behind me and city tourists were pulling up in the car park. Wearing my flare jeans, a maroon 3/4 sleeve runched top and a black Esprit knit cardi, I still felt so overdressed amongst the present crowd. I few girls took second glances at me probably wondering what this city girl was doing in their town by herself.. or maybe my hair was a mess, I'm not sure. I was obviously not yet at my destination but had stopped for the other obligatory ritual of a hot fudge sundae and fries. If I had not slept in so late that morning, I would have stopped earlier for what should have been a serve of hot cakes in maple syrup...
I cased the place with my order in hand looking for a place to sit. The other attraction of the place was the free wifi and I was hoping to do some writing on my laptop but there was no power point anywhere and, with the limited battery life, I decided to leave the writing till later. McDonald's had obviously thought about deviants like me stealing their electricity and their vacuum cleaners must have very long power cords. I settled for using my iPhone and making a few phone calls whilst enjoying the sundae.
Memory is a funny thing, or maybe mine is just plain bad. Standing at the bank of the river at my destination an hour or so later, I could have sworn that the approach to the river and the layout of the surrounding roads were different to how they used to be. I had remembered a more romantic and scenic location with greater access to the banks of the river on either side but my mind had merged reality with idealistic notions and had stored a beautiful, yet fictional, memory. Like the disappointment that sinks into you when you read that wonderful story you wrote or watch the tape of the supposedly crowd pleasing performance years earlier, this was a haunting reminder to not place to much stock in the glowing attraction of the past. I wondered if the same also applied to my thoughts about the future.
In itself, this was not a disappointing location by any means and having parked my car in an appropriate location I was able to open the back of the wagon and sit in the back. My feet dangled over the bumper as I rested against the back seats with a glass of red wine in one hand and crackers and Camembert cheese in reach of the other. I watched the river flow serenely past and as a few drop of drizzle landed on the side windows, I was reminded, with a small sense of satisfaction, this is why I bought this car.
I let my thoughts run and ramble through my head and tried to pay them no attention in the same way that the river swirled past the pylons of the nearby bridge and left eddy's that existed for a moment and then were gone. Time drifted past like the wind in the tall fluffy grass, swaying them about, and I was only clicked back to reality when I realised I had finished my block of cheese. Instinctively, I reached into my picnic bag for another one before deciding that I really couldn't eat it right now and decided to take a walk instead.
As I neared the bank of the river, I saw two people looking at my curiously. A city girl, three hours from home and dressed somewhat inappropriately for a stroll through the bush probably does deserve some attention. In time their curiosity waned and one of them reeled up his fishing rod and they both left. I hadn't noticed his fishing rod before and maybe I shouldn't have started skipping rocks across the river...
After they both left, I realised I had to go to. I walked along the banks of the river looking for a secluded location. Guys should be so lucky that they can pee standing up; seeing a guy facing a tree is just some sort of accepted social norm. I don't do that any more even though I physically still can and in some ways I miss it but otherwise I really don't. Thoughts about romancing the past spring to mind again.
Pushing my car through the corners on the first part of the trip home was exhilarating. It was something I hadn't done for a while and, as it turns out, I still enjoy it. My ex used to enjoy it too and her Golf GTI would carve up these corners a treat, even it does scare her a little. I wondered why my thoughts had wondered towards her again and I realised that out interests had been so magically intertwined and aligned that it was difficult to separate the thought of her from my hobbies and pastimes. I dwelled on that for a moment before forcing myself to think about something else.
The rest of the trip home was uneventful except for the two miscreants in a red hatchback. The driver seemed intent on holding up traffic, moving between the left and right lane whilst the passenger danced with his body out the window and gestured to cars in the left hand lane. I took the next opportunity to pass them, stretching the speed limit in the process. If the law were to fine me for taking steps to ensure my safety and avoid genuine fear, then the law would be an ass that didn't deserve my obedience anyway.
I missed the turn off for my road home but it was no matter, the next off ramp would work just as well. In fact, it worked a little better since I unexpectedly drove past a McDonald's on that road. Nothing like a symbolic end to a trip and I turned in and walked to the counter to order a soft serve with a flake. The young gent handed it to me with a smile and farewell for a good night. It's nice to have service with a smile.
No comments:
Post a Comment