(Names changed of course.. )
"I just wanted to say how much I really appreciate what you are doing for me", my sister said solemnly over the phone. "I know how difficult this is for you, and John really appreciates it too".
"You're welcome and thank you for understanding", I replied.
A slight pause.
"It'll be alright", I added reassuringly. Was the reassurance for her or me??
--
The next day, I stood at the foot of my bed. Someone was staring at me and I couldn't recognise him. He was wearing a smart black suit that was slightly too large and his tailored white shirt with pink, burgundy and cream pinstripes also looked like it had been made for someone who was slightly larger. A pair of expensive black shoes adorned his feet and they must have only been worn half a dozen times. From the top of this sturdy body was an out of proportioned head with a rather slight looking face. Long black hair had been slicked back and was held in a ponytail.
I shuffled in front of the mirror uncomfortably. Memories and emotions of my own wedding began flooding back to me along with memories of how my wife and I had bought the clothes I was wearing. The reflection moved as I did, but it didn't feel like me. I raised my hands in front my eyes and rotating my forearms I saw the buttons on my jack suit move in perfect harmony. It was all so surreal. I felt like I was playing a first person shooter computer game where I could see my hands and everything in front me, but it really wasn't me.
I sat on my bed and wept.
"How are you?", chirped my sister over the phone, she had impeccable timing.
"I'm good", I replied, lying through my teeth and hoping that my voice wasn't quavering or giving me away. This was going to be one of the happiest days of her life and a cherished memory and I wasn't going to spoil that. My wedding day still remains as the happiest day of my life even though it is also the saddest memory I have.
We talked for a while before she had to go and have her hair done. I prepared my myself mentally for the day ahead.
--
"Where can we get some drugs?"
"You're asking the wrong person", I answered with a chuckle and hoping that he was joking but feeling that he wasn't. James, one of the grooms friends, was tall, handsome and blond. He was an ex commando, footballer and was now a physical trainer and it showed. He was now also very drunk from the nights festivities.
"Oh, don't be a soft cock", he said, swaying slightly and half pushing, half leaning on me. I was already feeling intimidated by him and this wasn't helping.
"No, seriously", I lowered my voice as a I felt it rising again, "I have no idea." I had been trying to use my old voice all day and it's low deep vibrations had felt so strange. It also kept rising when I wasn't paying attention or started to get excited and I had to remind myself that Filly's voice wasn't to come out. I had also made it onto the dance floor and I hope I didn't dance like a girl. The night was a complete success for both the bride and the groom and also for me. I was worried that I might have an emotional attack at some inappropriate moment in some unfortunate location, but it didn't happen. That's not to say that I didn't look at the girls on the dance floor and think "I wish I was you and I wish I could wear what you're wearing and dance the way you're dancing!"
But no, everything would be ok. In fact, everything had turned out alright.
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