School Dreams

I have them all too often. Dreams where I'm back at school or back at university and these dreams are invariably a nightmare. When I was really at school, I was a conscientious student who always had assignments completed and who didn't really need to study much for the exam because everything had already sunk in when I had methodically done my homework. Ok, so I was a nerd. 

In my dreams however, I'm almost a wannabe nerd. I'll forget what class I'm supposed to be at next or where they actually are. I'll be sitting an exam and looking at questions which resemble nothing I've ever seen before in my life. If I was to analyse my dreams, I would say that they represent my fear of failure or perhaps even represent an inner belief that perhaps I am a failure. 

Last night, however, my dream was different. I was again back at school but I was me as I am now. I was post-op trans-girl going to school. As my dreams usually began, it was all very mundane. School was never something exciting for me and I trudged though each day one at a time and this was reflected in my dream.

Suddenly, the dream took a darker turn and I was being molested. In hindsight, it was an odd situation because I went to an all boys school as a child and I think in my dream I may have been at a single sex school also.. for boys. One of the students had wrapped his arms around me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides as I screamed and struggled to free myself to no avail. Other students began prodding at my vagina and squeezing my clitoris ever harder as I cried for them to stop. 

I woke up in a panic, my heart still pounding and a very real pain in my clitoris.