Thailand Day T+16

(Graphic detail, extreme reader discretion recommended)


As I closed the door, my nurse piped up in her chirpy voice.
"Today we'll move to number two". 
I'm sure all the blood drained from my face as I froze for a moment in total shock. Moving to the bed, with a most worrying expression on my face, I squeaked, half pleadingly,
"Are you sure???"
"Yes!", she replied without pause. Ok, so much for the pleading. After a while, she may have sensed my misunderstanding when she added, "Start first with number one for thirty minutes and then number two for ten minutes". 
That made it seem a little more palatable, but not much. I prepared all the things I would need for today's session, it was becoming a bit of a ritual now. Taking the two dilators I would need out of the gorgeous little case I had been given to hold them in, I held the number two dilator with some dubiousness as to whether it would fit. I was still having trouble with the first dilator and felt like the total opposite of little kid that was having trouble eating his double scoop ice cream but was jealously eyeing a 20-scoop Vermonster ice cream sundae. 


For the record, I've never been to Vermont and I've never had a Vermonster, but judging from the description it sounds like something I would have, at one time, ordered and eaten in a hearbeat. Only half a dozen years ago, after I was well past my eating prime, I was in Japan with my now ex and her sisters and brother in law. We stopped in somewhere for a drink since we were getting thirsty and, eyeing a sundae on the menu, I knew I just had to eat it. My ex's youngest sister egged me on to order it, but I don't think she thought I actually would, much less finish the whole thing. Nobody believed that I actually finished the whole thing. I'm not sure even the staff believed I ate the whole thing by myself. It came in layers of hot chocolate fudge sauce and scoops of ice cream. I know that doesn't sound impressive.. yet. This thing was so big, it came with a chocolate brownie, half a banana, a chocolate wafer straw, a large triangle wafer and the obligatory whipped cream with glacéed cherries. The piece-de-resistance, however, was that this ice cream sundae had, buried like an iceberg, it's own rather large ice-cream sandwich (an ice cream within an ice cream! I love it!) and the size of the sundae made the toppings combined look small. It was totally heavenly, down to the last finger swiping chocolatey smear of goodness. But I digress...


Returning back to the dilation, the thought of what was ahead of me must have made me tense since I had more trouble than usual with the first dilator. I managed to get through the session despite my nurses insistence that I should keep pushing harder. Then it was was time for the dreaded step up. My nurse was going to do it for me and I hoped she would be as gentle as possible. 


"Pain?", she asked as she pushed and I felt the soreness of a bruised muscle being tortured even further.
"Yes", I replied squeamishly, trying not to shout it out to prove a point.
"For me, every easy", she said smiling. My eyes opened with incredulity and I chuckled a little with shock.
"Yes! For you, it's easy!", I replied. 
"Yes, this easy. Other girl are tighter, more difficult."


Oh my God... I can only feel sorry for those other girls. I sincerely did not want to cry every time I had to move up in dilator size. 


At the end of the session, after my nurse had left, I collapsed in bed to recover as usual feeling extremely sore and daunted that I would have to do this on my own in the afternoon. My subconscious mind must have totally rejected the idea too since I fell asleep at the time when I was supposed to do my afternoon dilation. I woke up in a panic and had to do it a couple of hours late. Seeing that my schedule had been pushed back, I decided that I would push back my night session an hour to compensate and give myself a bit of time to recover also. Oh darn, wouldn't you know it, I'm too busy blogging instead...